I’ve noticed a growing tendency amongst twenty-somethings to mock and/or reject long term relationships. Being single is ‘in’ now, apparently. Which I think is great. I genuinely do. You shouldn’t need to be in a relationship, you should want to be in one.
The thing is, it’s now become so acceptable to be single/’finding yourself’/playing the field/dating that being a twenty-something in a long term, seriously relationship leaves you open to a lot of intrusive questions. It’s almost like being a woman who doesn’t want kids. Everyone feels as though they have a right to comment on your decision, even though it has fuck all to do with them.
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 2010. 6 years. 6 years is a VERY long time, particularly as I turn 22 this year. I am, funnily enough, aware of this. And yet people still feel the need to question my choice, and my ability to make that choice. People think we should be seeing other people, or that we’re making a huge mistake, or that we’ll never last.
To all of those people, mind your own fucking business. Just because you and your first love broke up in an explosion of hate and regret, doesn’t mean we will. Just because you regret not sleeping with more people, doesn’t mean I do. This may come as a surprise, but I do know what I’m doing. It’s why my relationship has lasted 6 years…
Long term relationships can be hard when you’re young, and there’s a reason they’re not super common. You grow a lot during your late teens and early twenties, and sometimes the person you loved when you were 17 just isn’t someone you love when you’re 24. But sometimes they are. Sometimes couples grow up together, and whilst they’re maturing and finding themselves they also find that they still love each other and want to be with each other.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s fucking hard. But that’s true of any relationship and any age. Sometimes you just want to be alone, but the last thing you want is to be alone without them in the next room.
I’m not saying that everyone should be in long term relationships, quite the opposite. You should just be with people you like. Whether that’s one person for ten years, six people at once, one person for ten days, no one for five years, it doesn’t matter.
But please stop passing judgement on my relationship, because one day I’m going to turn around and hit you.